It was pretty magical when I first saw the elephants coming towards me. But I went from feeling full of wonder to feeling very fucking intimidated when one of them stomped towards me with no sign of slowing down. The entire group rapidly scuffled sideways out of the way.
Seconds later we were feeding bunches of bananas to the elephants. Their trunks were harder and much stronger than I’d anticipated. As they swiped the bananas from me, I felt they could easily crush my hand in the grip of their trunk if they so wanted. It was cool to see the elephants, I just wish I hadn’t been dying of starvation and lack of sleep. Throughout the day my regrets grew. I quickly realised I was trapped on a full day excursion with no way of getting any sleep or any food after the utterly mediocre pad Thai lunch we were given. I cursed myself for not staying in bed like Caesar.
Being coerced into the onslaught of a waterfall somewhere in the jungle and being trapped onboard a white-water raft bumping off rocks and cascading down rapids definitely helped wake me the hell up, but did far less to assuage my aggressive stomach that was severely punishing me for its lack of food.
After having nothing but coffee for breakfast, Caligula was learning about the power of caffeine. He and Tiberius were asking tonnes of questions about the elephants. How long it takes them to grow to full height and a bunch of other stuff like that. They were also making conversation with the other participants of the excursion. I was just doing what I could to keep a smile on my face… although I did briefly perk up when someone began talking about their time in the Philippines. ‘Untouched by tourism’ is how they described it.
By the time we got back I swore I was finished with travelling. Of course meeting elephants was fun, and obviously it was cool to go white water rafting and see a bit of jungle, but for most of the day my regret at not staying in bed to recover from the night before felt larger than the elephants I was trying to feed and bathe. And somehow, being splashed multiple times by the elephants did not make me feel any better.
But upon returning from the excursion, things didn’t improve at all. Caesar messaged us as we journeyed back. He had checked into our new hostel and it was bad news. The Bodega Social Hostel had branded itself as a party place, so we thought it might be more sociable than our last quarters, and perhaps a bit more luxurious too – especially as it came with a pool. But as soon as we arrived, all hope was blasted from our minds. Caesar put it best when he met us at the check-in desk. ‘It’s like freshers but cringey’.
‘Call me a bitch and get a free shot,’ read a sign by the bar. I rolled my eyes.
Music was pumping so loud you could hear it easily through the walls of the dorm. We wondered what time the music would be turned off at. We wondered if it would be turned off at all.
I raced out for food as my stomach was pounding with hunger. Caesar finally got us into a vegan restaurant – mainly because we were too hungry and tired to complain. My vegan Khao Soi was actually a highlight of the day. A creamy, coconut flavoured soup with crunchy noodles on top and soft noodles within. The tofu was chewier and more satisfying than any tofu I’ve tasted before… I want more of it.
After the meal I stuffed my face with peanuts and traipsed back to the dingy rave-warehouse of a hostel. The rest of the Romans came back soon after and had a very argumentative game of Catan. Fortunately, the music didn’t seem as loud at this point and eventually we put the lights out.
I did myself dirty by forcing myself on that Elephant excursion, and we’d all done ourselves dirty by not checking out the new hostel before booking it for TWO nights. R.I.P.
