Rabies is very much on my mind. The thought of getting it has been hanging over me these last few days… not being vaccinated and all. Caligula also needs a rabies vaccine. It would be for the best to not have to freak out every time a dog runs towards you. This exact thing happened last night, and imbued with the sudden thought of rabies, Caligula aimed a kick at the dog, only to get a very cold stare from the dog’s owner who appeared out of nowhere. Whatever happens this next week, I simply MUST acquire the rabies vaccine. I can’t go running from dogs left right and centre and Caligula’s going to get himself in trouble if he keeps trying to kick people’s pets.
We slept in but rose quickly, hurrying out of the hotel to find some breakfast. Certainly not bothering ourselves with unimportant things like sunscreen.
‘I’m frustrated that we’re staying in Bangkok another day. I fucking hate it.’ We’re now sitting in the White Dragon café and Caesar is making it abundantly clear he is not a fan of the city. He also suggests we go to a vegan place for dinner.
‘No mate.’ Caligula and Tiberius say instantly.
Opinions in the group may certainly vary, but all in all we had managed to put last night’s argument to bed. I was hungry and ready to enjoy some good food after my atrocious first meal in Asia. But moments after my egg and streaky bacon pancakes were set before me, Tiberius began talking about the 20-foot shitting pit he had to squat over in Tajikistan. ‘It had twenty years’ worth of shit down it’ he said, after Caesar asked him if it stank.
I thought that Khaosan road had been chaotic – the street we were drinking on last night. But the walk to our very first cultural attraction was mind boggling. There was too much to take in left right and centre, and as if that wasn’t overwhelming enough, I was suddenly assaulted by a forgotten memory from last night. ‘Why you being gay?’ Some Thai bloke was shouting at me, shoving me away from him. I frantically tried to remember what I’d been doing. Some Thai bloke had been talking to Tiberius and I. About what? My memory didn’t stretch that far. He’s definitely gay, I was thinking to myself. 100% gay. I’d put my arms around his waist and pulled him towards me. The fuck was I thinking? The Singhas, the balloons, the Leos and the Changs! Beer has been my familiar comfort, but clearly it could also spell the end of me.
Pushing the disturbing memory out of mind, I ascended the stone steps to the temple, removing my shoes before stepping inside. It was strangely calming to walk around in socks. The others knelt on the carpet before a giant statue of Buddha. But I couldn’t concentrate. I stared out the arched windows of the temple, my brain still grappling with something. Bangkok seemed too barmy and yet too potent and real to comprehend. I felt a deep sense of madness with my place in the world, my current situation and my future plans. Everything felt like a fever dream.
Laughter burst out of me at random moments throughout the day. I felt delirious and couldn’t say why I was laughing. The smallest thing made me jump a foot in the air. Maybe it was simply the struggle of my mind to get over the fact that I’m really out here, like I’m in a state of permanent shock. An aftershock perhaps, added to by the chaos of last night.
Caligula and Caesar had a brief water fight and we all got our first experience of the underground transport system, which was far more spacious, cleaner and cooler than London’s miserable underground. We headed to a place called Lumphini and took refuge in the park. It was a sanctuary of peace compared to the bustle and tumult of the streets outside it.
Huge lizards crawled in the grass and swam, snake-like in the ponds. Jungle crows fought with street cats for food, hopping and lolloping on the ground in a way I’d never seen before. They’d encircled a cat, hopping around and towards it like a boxer in the ring, gearing up for an attack.
‘Look at that big black bird hopping along!’ Cried Caesar.
Soon, all four of us were hopping along to blaring Thai music, waving our arms and frantically trying to follow the dance moves of three fitness instructors who’d started up a session in the middle of the park. I don’t know why we decided to follow along. It was over thirty degrees and my rucksack was bouncing up and down on my back. Skyscrapers loomed large, surrounding us in all directions, enclosing the park. Everything was ridiculous and out of place.
A journey down back alleys and local suburban streets took us to a tranquil spot by the river. People were sitting drinking, getting massages and being served food. We were ready for more food, and I was ready to finally taste some Thai Green Curry. I got my wish and got a bottle of Singha with it too.
I hoped to feel relaxed, especially as we’d all removed our shoes again and were sitting on pillows. But I can’t cross my legs, and so the only way to get close to my food was to kneel on the cushion and bend my head over the plate like a dog.
Trying to negotiate a price for our return journey went from embarrassing to flat-out shocking when Caesar cried ‘Perfect!’ to the very first price given to us by the Tuk Tuk driver. Despite this, my first ride in a Tuk Tuk was massively enjoyable. We sped round corners and whooshed past other vehicles as the wind blasted us and DESPACITO blared so loud I thought it might blow my ears off. I was far more relaxed than I should have been.
Later I lay in bed feeling neither sleepy nor weary, but spritely and alive. I was starving, yet I didn’t care. I was hot and sweaty, yet I didn’t care. The only thing that may possibly have been niggling me was the thought of rabies…
